Waiting for Judas

Bread and Wine Reading: "Waiting for Judas", Madeleine L’Engle

Scripture Reading: John 13: 21-32
After saying this Jesus was troubled in spirit, and declared, “Very truly, I tell you, one of you will betray me.” The disciples looked at one another, uncertain of whom he was speaking. One of his disciples—the one whom Jesus loved—was reclining next to him; Simon Peter therefore motioned to him to ask Jesus of whom he was speaking. So while reclining next to Jesus, he asked him, “Lord, who is it?” Jesus answered, “It is the one to whom I give this piece of bread when I have dipped it in the dish.” So when he had dipped the piece of bread, he gave it to Judas son of Simon Iscariot. After he received the piece of bread, Satan entered into him. Jesus said to him, “Do quickly what you are going to do.” Now no one at the table knew why he said this to him. Some thought that, because Judas had the common purse, Jesus was telling him, “Buy what we need for the festival”; or, that he should give something to the poor. So, after receiving the piece of bread, he immediately went out. And it was night. When he had gone out, Jesus said, “Now the Son of Man has been glorified, and God has been glorified in him. If God has been glorified in him, God will also glorify him in himself and will glorify him at once.

Madeleine L’Engle contends that “if we are brave enough to accept our monsters, to love them, to kiss them, we will find that we are touching not the terrible dragon that we feared, but the loving Lord of all Creation.” And yet, for centuries, Christians have been deeply bothered by Judas and the account of his betrayal of Jesus. We have let the other disciples grow up to be heroes and saints but Judas, the quintessential “bad seed,” is relegated to the hell pile. It was just a kiss. But it was the kiss of betrayal. And so, poor Judas is forever the monster of monsters, the dragon of dragons. But did we ever stop to ask Judas why he did that? Perhaps he really was bad. But maybe…just maybe…maybe Judas thought he knew best, thought that he could prove that he was on the “winning side” when Jesus, hero though he was, saved himself from death. Maybe Judas just got a little overzealous in trying to prove himself right. We don’t want to consider that because then we might see ourselves in the dragon.

Madeleine L’Engle relates an old legend that many of us have heard before: After his death Judas found himself at the bottom of a slimy pit. After a thousand years of weeping his repentance, he looked up and saw a tiny glimmer of light. After contemplating it for yet another thousand years, he began to climb. He slid and climbed and slid and climbed and slid back again. Years later, he finally made it. At the top, he dragged himself into an upper room with twelve people seated around a table. “We’ve been waiting for you, Judas,” Jesus said. “We couldn’t begin till you came.”

Judas…even Judas…is forgiven and the table waits, his chair in place. We are so quick to send him to our image of hell, as if that somehow validates our own discretions. But Christ raises him up and seats him at the table. Perhaps we should not be too hasty to remove the empty chairs or close the doors of our spaces. Who are we to say who the Christ has invited to the party? The truth is that Christ invites all who have come to an ending, all who have left their lives behind, all who want to start again. We are all betrayers and we are all beloved. And then we are back where we started. “In the beginning, God created….and it was very, very good.”

Discussion Questions:
1.) Who are you labeling the betrayer?
2.) What is your image of that table to which Christ invites us?
3.) What is it that you need to let go so that you can be created again?

So go forth toward the Cross…Christ is waiting with Judas, inviting you to come!

Grace and Peace,

Shelli